Go Too Far

“You’ve gone too far!”

You may have received this scolding at some point growing up.

Those words told you that you overstepped boundaries. You broke the rules. You were bad.

Too many of us were conditioned to become fearful of going too far. We didn’t want to be seen as too radical or a troublemaker. We played by the rules and proudly became “good citizens.”

Luckily, not everyone plays it safe. If we did, we would not evolve as a species. The radical, rebellious ones who “go too far” establish new norms, stretch our minds and change our culture. Not for their own gain, but for the evolution of humanity.  

Fortuntely, we live at a time during which we can reap the benefits of women who went too far to help improve the lives of women in America.

In the feminist classic Going Too Far: The Personal Chronical of a Feminist (1977), author Robin Morgan writes of her experiences as a radical feminist who stretched the boundaries of the male-dominated society by demanding equal rights, civil rights and reproductive rights. Not only did she - and so many other feminists - help to change the world, she herself changed. She continues to be a voice for women today.

More than 40 years later, Gloria Steinem refers to going too far as a relevant directive. In a recent article, she said, “go too far, or you’re not going far enough.” Gloria is still pushing to go farther.

What if these feminists “behaved” and resisted their radical nature and calling. What if they didn’t go far enough? Where would we be now?  

What if the suffragettes didn’t go far enough to demand the right for women to vote?

What if Ruth Bader Ginsburg didn’t go far enough to enroll in a predominantly male educational institution in the 1950s to study law? What if she felt pressured to vote differently in the Supreme Court?

What if Shirley Chisholm didn’t go too far enough to become the first African American woman to be elected into congress (1968), and the first African-American women to run for president of the USA (1972)?

Perceptions of women changed because these women pushed to go farther.

So many others in politics, the arts, literature, science, education, technology had the guts to “go too far” and they changed our world.  

How about these remarkable women. Did they go too far?  

Mary Ann Bulkey , aka James Barry (1785-1869), a woman who posed as a man to study medicine, become a doctor and a military surgeon - all at a time when women weren’t allowed any of this. She performed the first successful cesarean section and developed sanitation practices in hospitals and homes. 

Leymah Gbowee, a Liberian peace activist responsible for leading a women's nonviolent peace movement. She led sex strikes that successfully ended a brutal civil war.

The Danube Seven, a group of Catholic theologian women who dared to be ordained as Catholic priests, which the Church rejected. But the women established their own Catholic churches and communities and encouraged other women to answer their callings to become Catholic priests.

Sally Ride, the first American woman in space who inspired an a generation of women to pursue science and space exploration.

Louise Hay, a founder of the Self Help Movement, author and founder of Hay House Publishing company, which has sold millions of books on spirituality and self-help.  

Tanara Burke, who started the Me Too Movement in 2006. Known as “the silence breaker,” she was a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017.   

Angelica Ross, a leading figure in trans and racial equality. She’s the founder of TransTech Social Enterprises, a program that helps people in marginalized communities to lift themselves out of poverty through technical training, and work in the digital world.   

Alicia Garza, Opal Tometi and Patrisse Cullors, co-founders of the Black Lives Matter movement. Together they speak out against racially-motivated violence and police brutality and are currently shifting the paradigm of our culture.

These women and others who go too far are radical. Risk-takers. Unstoppable. Courageous.

They answer a higher call. They let go of their egos and pursue their soul’s truth and spiritual mission for positive change.  

They see a problem and resolve it.

They’re willing to fail, to be ostracized, condemned and even go to jail.

They shock the system. Shock causes one to stop, process, adjust, and ultimately change.

How about you? Are you ready to go too far?

What are you called to do? Are you willing to go too far?

I believe our purpose as humans is to grow as much as possible during our lifetime and contribute to the evolution of our world.

And it doesn’t have to be a huge, culture-shifting contribution. Going too far can take place on a smaller, more personal scale, such as within your relationship, family, job, environment, even within yourself, such as your mindset, skills, knowledge. For some, smiling at a stranger might feel like going too far. For others, reading books on religions that are different from theirs is going too far. For others, changing the world isn’t far enough.

Whether you wish to make grand change or small one, you can push your own boundaries and change your own world. Here’s how:

Identify a need. What’s missing – in your life? In your community? In your industry? In society? In our culture? Do you see something that inspires you to fill it?   

Listen for your soul’s calling. It’s inside, and it may speak to you through journaling or meditating, or it may pop in during the middle of your workday. Or it may have been nudging you for years and you’ve been resisting it for fear of going too far. It’s time to listen and take steps.

Take small steps. Many radical moves are the result of months and years of preparation. Women who go too far study, train, become experts in their field and plan before making that final bold move. Stay the course knowing every small action you take will move you closer to your destiny.  

Find a community of like-minded people. Your network will inspire you, teach you, and support you. They’ll give you the feedback and information you need to become stronger and wiser in your pursuits. They’ll rally around you as you prepare and catch you after you’ve launched. They are your family with whom you can go too far together for a common cause.

Hold your vision. While your calling will be unforgettable, it may occasionally fade as other things take temporary priority. Always return to your vision and let it excite your spirit and add dimension to your life.

Prepare.  Going too far can be a spontaneous, knee-jerk reaction, or it can be a calculated and strategized action. It’s usually the latter that works best for you and for the world. So plan. Develop a backup plan. Create a safety net. Rally your network. Examine the “what ifs.”

Understand the risks. When you go too far you may choose to leave or lose your friends, your job, your livelihood, your status quo. Is it worth it to you? Will it have enough of a payoff?  In most cases, it will be yes. As you grow, you’ll meet new people and inspire them. You may find a new career and become even more abundant. You’ll change and your world with change with you.

Have faith. When you make your move, you jump into an abyss of the unknown. Be prepared for any response, from grand praising applause and condemning criticism. Just know that no matter what the outcome, this is the best action for you. You’ll survive, thrive and learn from it, and your life will be better for it, no matter what.

So go ahead, go too far!

Going too far will expand your perception of yourself and will make you stronger, will boost your self-respect. It will change your status quo forever.

It may be the best thing you can do in your life.